I can be better.
I know I can be better.
I’ve been saying the above phrases to myself continuously over the past couple of weeks. I woke up to the realization that my life may very well be a life wasted if I don’t step up my game. I think I’ve become just a little too complacent. I am not pushing myself hard enough. And I am letting old dreams fall to the wayside because I am telling myself it’s too late or I am not deserving of such lofty goals. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I would think such silly thoughts.
I am wondering if my complacency is somewhat due to the fact that I am growing restless with my current situation. Because I am staying home with the little guy, I am having difficulty measuring my success. Having worked in the professional arena since the age of 16, I have grown accustom to the positive reinforcement that being successful at a job brings. I do not agree with those who claim motherhood is a thankless job. As with any venture in life, it is what you make of it. But I am about thisclose to having Clay give me a performance review.
But maybe this blog is my performance review. I don’t have a huge amount of readers but I find writing therapeutic and I still can’t believe that people take time out of their day to comment on some words I crafted. Those of you who have been around since The Sour Patch Kid Experiment have been with me through heartache, elation, the birth of our son, multiple moves, and you have never failed to offer support, wisdom, and kindness. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Each day is a gift. I know I can be better. Life is fleeting. To not have each moment contribute to a greater purpose is a waste of hopes, wishes, and dreams. I have complied a short list of goals to help me focus the direction of this blog and make more sense of myself and what I want out of life.
- Get writing. A computer filled with half-written stories is no longer acceptable.
- Help. I am extremely fortunate. I am incredibly lucky. I am healthy. I am capable. And I have no excuse for not lending a hand to those who live an extremely different life than I do. It is easier to pretend such people don’t exist. But what is easier isn’t what is always right.
- Run, run, run. I am athletic. I am in shape. I can run. But I don’t particularly enjoy it. I can chase a ball or play an organized team sport for hours. But running from Point A to Point B? Bleh. I have recently started running again and I am determined to complete a half-marathon within the next year. I can do it. I know I can.
- Purposeful cooking. I cook with love. But I don’t always cook with purpose. I plan to be more creative with my cooking style to ensure that very little is wasted. I am determined to prove that cooking healthy and delicious food isn’t more expensive than using canned goods or food filled with hydrogenated oils and high-fructose corn syrup.
- Love. I think I show too little love. This must change.
- Bloom. I am planted here in OK for the next couple of years. I can either wilt or bloom. I choose to bloom.
What goals have you set for yourself lately? How do you want to change?