Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy

by Karen

One of my favorite Sesame Street vignettes is when Bert and Ernie are fishing on a boat. Do you remember this one? Bert has a fishing pole and is frustrated that he hasn’t received one bite. Meanwhile, Ernie continuously calls out, “Here fishy, fishy, fishy.” And wouldn’t you know, the fish proceed to throw themselves on the boat.

This morning I watched an anniversary episode of Sesame Street with the little guy. We’re currently without cable so we’re streaming Netflix on our Wii. Call us Amish. I couldn’t contain my excitement when the above vignette appeared on the screen. Not only was it comforting, watching something loved so dearly in my childhood, but the scene touched me as an adult too. You see, I am not afraid to admit that certain things come easy to me. This doesn’t diminish the amount of effort I put into completing such tasks, but activities such as academics, athletics, and socializing seem to be a natural extension of myself. It as if I am Ernie, calling out “Here fishy, fishy, fishy” in most aspects of my life.

But that changed when Weston was born. I was not Ernie. Rather, I was Bert – staring at other women in disbelief, amazed that motherhood came so natural. My husband deployed, leaving me with a two-month-old, and with limited understanding of how I was going to get through the year to come. But eventually I became Ernie again. The change wasn’t overnight and it took effort. A lot of effort. And a lot of tears. And here I am now, raising a lovely 17-month-old, calling out, “Here fishy, fishy, fishy,” in regards to being a mother.

But in terms of this move to Oklahoma, I am back to being Bert. I am beginning recognize the amount of effort that is needed to making my life here. I am also Bert in terms of my career. I have a graduate degree in a field that I truly enjoying working in and is home to a wealth of opportunity. And I would love to jump back into the workforce – on my terms. Unfortunately, there isn’t much opportunity here in Lawton. There are some, but I am wondering if it is worth my time and effort to pursue such opportunities.  And when push comes to shove, what I really want to do is write. Luckily, I can incorporate my love of writing into my career field because I don’t foresee becoming a wildly successful freelance magazine article writer  or author of chick-lit. Although, if some is taking applications for the next Jon Krakauer or Emily Giffin, I will gladly apply. Maybe someday.

You know, maybe we’re meant to be both Bert and Ernie in our lives. I’ve been thinking about it – wouldn’t life be quite boring if we were always like Bert or always like Ernie on that particular fishing trip? Yeah, I think so too.